Idiocy finds a new meaning.
So I was looking through a couple of news articles today and I came across a rather interesting story. You guys should love it. It's entitled Cell phone lodged in womans throat. Oh yeah, that's right. Check it out here.
Read it, it's only small.
Read it? Good. Now from what I gathered from it, some woman pissed off her boyfriend and in the heated argument she did the only thing she could possibly think of. Swallowing her mobile phone! Oh snap you bastard, didn't see that one coming didja? Hell no! So you'd verbally abuse a woman, eh? Would you verbally abuse a woman who is stupid enough to swallow her mobile phone?! I didn't think so! Personally, if it were me, I'd be pissing myself laughing screaming something along the lines of "You stupid fucking bitch. You deserve to die."
However it wasn't any old argument... oh no. It was a very special argument about her mobile phone! I'm thinking that she was seeing other guys behind his back, he found out about it and said "I want to read your text inbox on your mobile phone." and she started screaming and shouting and eventually broke out the salt and ketchup and BAM! Phone in throat.
Part of me is feeling sorry for her, the majority of me is hoping it was a really big one. Remember those old Motorola phones? The ones with the inch long arial? (The closest image I could find to it was this. It wasn't quite as old as that, though... Yeah, one of them. Then when she swallowed it, it could start ringing. Remember that ringtone it had? The one that bore a resembelence to Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On? I would love that so much... just to hear what it would sound like.
However, I'm sure it would be physically impossible to down a mobile phone of that size... as amusing as it would be. Perhaps if we cut her throat open, inserted the phone into it and surgically closed the wound up. Fun! But seriously now, who the hell is going to swallow a mobile phone? I'm sure her boyfriend would be feeling great about himself now. "Oh, my girlfriend swallowed her mobile phone because she didn't want me to have it. I think she may have somebody else... like... other than me? What about you?". If I ever see that guy, I'm going to shake his hand and tell him to remove the phone himself next time. With a broadsword.
It makes me one sad panda to see somebody as dense as to attempt this... then again, there is some sad woman who pulled a restraining order on David Letterman for using 'code' to lead her on and tell her he wanted to marry her. I swear, one of these days I'm going to kill all the trees/shrubs and watch the world die. I'll be fine. I'll die too. It'll be the ultimate Genocide. So great that no history books will remember me. Why? Because everybody will be dead!
Is it sad that I'm getting an erection about that?
Read it, it's only small.
Read it? Good. Now from what I gathered from it, some woman pissed off her boyfriend and in the heated argument she did the only thing she could possibly think of. Swallowing her mobile phone! Oh snap you bastard, didn't see that one coming didja? Hell no! So you'd verbally abuse a woman, eh? Would you verbally abuse a woman who is stupid enough to swallow her mobile phone?! I didn't think so! Personally, if it were me, I'd be pissing myself laughing screaming something along the lines of "You stupid fucking bitch. You deserve to die."
However it wasn't any old argument... oh no. It was a very special argument about her mobile phone! I'm thinking that she was seeing other guys behind his back, he found out about it and said "I want to read your text inbox on your mobile phone." and she started screaming and shouting and eventually broke out the salt and ketchup and BAM! Phone in throat.
Part of me is feeling sorry for her, the majority of me is hoping it was a really big one. Remember those old Motorola phones? The ones with the inch long arial? (The closest image I could find to it was this. It wasn't quite as old as that, though... Yeah, one of them. Then when she swallowed it, it could start ringing. Remember that ringtone it had? The one that bore a resembelence to Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On? I would love that so much... just to hear what it would sound like.
However, I'm sure it would be physically impossible to down a mobile phone of that size... as amusing as it would be. Perhaps if we cut her throat open, inserted the phone into it and surgically closed the wound up. Fun! But seriously now, who the hell is going to swallow a mobile phone? I'm sure her boyfriend would be feeling great about himself now. "Oh, my girlfriend swallowed her mobile phone because she didn't want me to have it. I think she may have somebody else... like... other than me? What about you?". If I ever see that guy, I'm going to shake his hand and tell him to remove the phone himself next time. With a broadsword.
It makes me one sad panda to see somebody as dense as to attempt this... then again, there is some sad woman who pulled a restraining order on David Letterman for using 'code' to lead her on and tell her he wanted to marry her. I swear, one of these days I'm going to kill all the trees/shrubs and watch the world die. I'll be fine. I'll die too. It'll be the ultimate Genocide. So great that no history books will remember me. Why? Because everybody will be dead!
Is it sad that I'm getting an erection about that?
posted by Thump at 7:47 pm
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