Homie G strutin' down da back alleee!
God damn it's pissing me off to see all these 'niggers'. Y'know, the black people who strut around with trousers around their ankles calling the white people "Honkey!" and fellow black people "nigaz" or "homiez". It really pisses me off to see black people dancing around with corn rows singing the latest Dr. Dre track or whatever the hell it is they listen to now. I mean come on... there's irritating and there's down right annoying. These guys, believe it or not, fall under both categories. Now I'm sure I've just collpased logic some how, but it's true.
I was walking through town the other day and a black guy in a nicely tailored suit (No, I'm not going to say "HE WUZ ON HIS WAY 2 CORT! LOLOLOLOLOLOLZ!!" so don't think about it.) and a cigar in his mouth. He had rather short, dark hair and a goatee. He walked up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. Now, I'm very judgemental and I always judge a book by the cover. Why? Because I fucking can, bitch. He opened his mouth and I was honestly expecting to hear a well spoken, British voice to talk... dear god how wrong I was. Instead, what eminated from his spammer was "YO HAWNKEH YO WUDNT HAYPEN TO HAYV A LATTER, WUD YOO?!".
I hate life.
I stood there staring at him for about two seconds before saying "Fuck off, tosser.". Have you ever had this happen to you? If you have, don't bother telling me about it. I don't care, I'd just like somebody to acknowledge this painful truth. Black people dressed in three piece suits are not always nice, well spoken men. A lot of them could in all honsetly be 'niggers' in disguise. The NiD. Like MiB only... well, only completely different. The Men in Black run around erasing peoples memories because they've seen an Alien. The NiD go around erasing your memories of anything which was ever good and right in the world.
I assumed this man was asking if I had a lighter. As a matter of fact, I did. However I was not willing to allow somebody to rape my language so brutally to use it. The use of the word 'hawnkeh' can only be derived to 'honkey'... in which case I shall kill him. I've no idea what it means and I don't find it insulting to me as a white male. I do, however, find it insulting to anybody who has ever tried to make this language worth speaking.
This man also decided to play his racism card. "YO JUS CAWZ AM BLAYK, RITE?!"... sigh. Of course, at this point something in the back of my head clicked. I snapped. I wasn't going to take shit from an NiD. Maybe if the NiD was well spoken and could say "Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have a lighter, would you?", then I'd take shit from him. This one would panic at the mere use of the world... which is why I prayed silently that English would slap him right in the fucking face... and video it. Preferably a good host with a decent download speed. Now that would be quality entertainment.
Anyway, I digress. This guy played his racism card and I screamed at the top of my lungs "NOT SO FAST, NIGGER! ACTIVATE TRAP!". Not really. It would have been awesome though, right? It took me about ten minutes to explain to him that Racism was not pinned soley on black people. I hate everybody equally. Niggers, Spics, Pakis, Commies, Horses. Hate them all. Apart from the French. I fucking hate the French. I started complaining about how so many immigrants were entering the country and helping raise our taxes that little bit more and help to anally rape our economy that little bit more.
Pardon me? More people = better economy? Really? Bullshit. That logic would work if they weren't getting houses, TVs etc for free. The government love to give stuff away to people who just come into the country. The NiD replied to my patriotic remarks to "AWW FUK YOO!" and walked in the opposite direction.
What did I do right? I said "Y'know, racism isn't just locked down to people of different skill colours. I don't like it when Americans, Australians, Spanish, Frogs, Japanese, etc. I hate it when they come to live in my country illegaly. Yes, we do get people from white countries illegaly coming into Britain to set up home and leech off us. Don't take my word for it. Walk down a high street, you'll see it all.
Now I know the technique to it, I can single handedly take down the NiD. Say something to piss them off then rant about it. It's wonderful, I highly reccomend trying it. However after your first two tries you have to either pay me money, click 1000 ads from 1000 different computers, or you can sign up for a lifetime pass (We'll call it the Premium pass. Why? I don't like originality.) for a nice, round some of £500. It's worth it. You can't own NiD without it.
We want YOU!
I was walking through town the other day and a black guy in a nicely tailored suit (No, I'm not going to say "HE WUZ ON HIS WAY 2 CORT! LOLOLOLOLOLOLZ!!" so don't think about it.) and a cigar in his mouth. He had rather short, dark hair and a goatee. He walked up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. Now, I'm very judgemental and I always judge a book by the cover. Why? Because I fucking can, bitch. He opened his mouth and I was honestly expecting to hear a well spoken, British voice to talk... dear god how wrong I was. Instead, what eminated from his spammer was "YO HAWNKEH YO WUDNT HAYPEN TO HAYV A LATTER, WUD YOO?!".
I hate life.
I stood there staring at him for about two seconds before saying "Fuck off, tosser.". Have you ever had this happen to you? If you have, don't bother telling me about it. I don't care, I'd just like somebody to acknowledge this painful truth. Black people dressed in three piece suits are not always nice, well spoken men. A lot of them could in all honsetly be 'niggers' in disguise. The NiD. Like MiB only... well, only completely different. The Men in Black run around erasing peoples memories because they've seen an Alien. The NiD go around erasing your memories of anything which was ever good and right in the world.
I assumed this man was asking if I had a lighter. As a matter of fact, I did. However I was not willing to allow somebody to rape my language so brutally to use it. The use of the word 'hawnkeh' can only be derived to 'honkey'... in which case I shall kill him. I've no idea what it means and I don't find it insulting to me as a white male. I do, however, find it insulting to anybody who has ever tried to make this language worth speaking.
This man also decided to play his racism card. "YO JUS CAWZ AM BLAYK, RITE?!"... sigh. Of course, at this point something in the back of my head clicked. I snapped. I wasn't going to take shit from an NiD. Maybe if the NiD was well spoken and could say "Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have a lighter, would you?", then I'd take shit from him. This one would panic at the mere use of the world... which is why I prayed silently that English would slap him right in the fucking face... and video it. Preferably a good host with a decent download speed. Now that would be quality entertainment.
Anyway, I digress. This guy played his racism card and I screamed at the top of my lungs "NOT SO FAST, NIGGER! ACTIVATE TRAP!". Not really. It would have been awesome though, right? It took me about ten minutes to explain to him that Racism was not pinned soley on black people. I hate everybody equally. Niggers, Spics, Pakis, Commies, Horses. Hate them all. Apart from the French. I fucking hate the French. I started complaining about how so many immigrants were entering the country and helping raise our taxes that little bit more and help to anally rape our economy that little bit more.
Pardon me? More people = better economy? Really? Bullshit. That logic would work if they weren't getting houses, TVs etc for free. The government love to give stuff away to people who just come into the country. The NiD replied to my patriotic remarks to "AWW FUK YOO!" and walked in the opposite direction.
What did I do right? I said "Y'know, racism isn't just locked down to people of different skill colours. I don't like it when Americans, Australians, Spanish, Frogs, Japanese, etc. I hate it when they come to live in my country illegaly. Yes, we do get people from white countries illegaly coming into Britain to set up home and leech off us. Don't take my word for it. Walk down a high street, you'll see it all.
Now I know the technique to it, I can single handedly take down the NiD. Say something to piss them off then rant about it. It's wonderful, I highly reccomend trying it. However after your first two tries you have to either pay me money, click 1000 ads from 1000 different computers, or you can sign up for a lifetime pass (We'll call it the Premium pass. Why? I don't like originality.) for a nice, round some of £500. It's worth it. You can't own NiD without it.
We want YOU!
posted by Thump at 8:33 am
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