If you don't make rock music, you aren't really a rock star! (11/07/07)
I'm sick to death of people calling the likes of Amy Whinehouse, Pete Doherty, Robbie Williams, Towers of London, Busted, McFly and other such cock jockeys being called 'rock stars'. Rock star's are the likes of the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Deep Purple, Rush, The Beatles, Elvis, Johnny Cash... y'know, people who had talent! Taking drugs and being idiots don't make you rock stars.
Especially not when you look like Amy Whinehouse (I am in no way saying that Keith Richards is good looking but shit, she is a fucking dog...).
Come on, she appeared on a gameshow (Never Mind the Buzzcocks) and spat on the stage... that isn't being a rebel, that's just being a general twat. Robbie Williams walked into a nightclub in Newcastle (on our infamous Quayside), a club named 'Sea'. Anyway, my Uncle was working on the doors (he's a bouncer... and a fucking big one at that) and had to throw the fucker out because he came in, sat down, ordered a drink (Whiskey or some shit, I don't know) and knocked up a big ol' line of coke on the counter.
And Lilly Allen will never be a rock star no matter how many Synths she might think look professional. Remember, no matter how awesome a Moog might look on your stage, you will never be able to play it in the same way that Rush or Pink Floyd could. You're making Mr. Moog himself cry and turn in his grave. Oh, and if you're a session musician (or in the band) of one of these so-called 'rock stars', you really aren't a musician. You're a twat.
And if you're British? And you do this whole 'accent rap'... which I think is actually a destruction of the Brummy (Birmingham, for anybody who doesn't know the Limey accent borders) accent. It's quite scary, seriously. "Bat oi fink yor mayt is mach fittar!"... actual lyrics, don't actually know who sang them, don't really care!
You see, Lilly Allen can vaguely pull it off. Why? Because (I'm still slightly unsure, but I think) that she can actually sing... that's about it. I still think her head should be entered into a cement mixer and held there until it sets.
If you happen to be one of the 'rock stars' of today, and you take drugs? Keep taking them until your body gives in. If you aren't? Just kill yourself.
Especially not when you look like Amy Whinehouse (I am in no way saying that Keith Richards is good looking but shit, she is a fucking dog...).
Come on, she appeared on a gameshow (Never Mind the Buzzcocks) and spat on the stage... that isn't being a rebel, that's just being a general twat. Robbie Williams walked into a nightclub in Newcastle (on our infamous Quayside), a club named 'Sea'. Anyway, my Uncle was working on the doors (he's a bouncer... and a fucking big one at that) and had to throw the fucker out because he came in, sat down, ordered a drink (Whiskey or some shit, I don't know) and knocked up a big ol' line of coke on the counter.
And Lilly Allen will never be a rock star no matter how many Synths she might think look professional. Remember, no matter how awesome a Moog might look on your stage, you will never be able to play it in the same way that Rush or Pink Floyd could. You're making Mr. Moog himself cry and turn in his grave. Oh, and if you're a session musician (or in the band) of one of these so-called 'rock stars', you really aren't a musician. You're a twat.
And if you're British? And you do this whole 'accent rap'... which I think is actually a destruction of the Brummy (Birmingham, for anybody who doesn't know the Limey accent borders) accent. It's quite scary, seriously. "Bat oi fink yor mayt is mach fittar!"... actual lyrics, don't actually know who sang them, don't really care!
You see, Lilly Allen can vaguely pull it off. Why? Because (I'm still slightly unsure, but I think) that she can actually sing... that's about it. I still think her head should be entered into a cement mixer and held there until it sets.
If you happen to be one of the 'rock stars' of today, and you take drugs? Keep taking them until your body gives in. If you aren't? Just kill yourself.
posted by Thump at 9:56 am
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