Line 6: The Metallion's Choice! (02/06/07)

Seeing as my birthday is on the anniversary of the Normandy landings (6th of this month) it makes my life rather difficult when it comes to presents... sadly nobody has caught on that when I ask for something, it means that's in fact what I want. What has the Normandy landings have to do with my birthday other than the presents and the simple fact it's the anniversary of the Normandy landings? Nothing, I just wanted you to know that my birthday is the 6th of June.

Now, I managed to get hold of a new distortion pedal! It's a Line 6 Uber Metal pedal! And the sound makes my penis squirt all over the walls!

The guy in the shop told me it was probably the most durable budget pedal ever likely to be built. That I could throw it down the stairs and set the fucker on fire and it would still work.

What an idiot.

Guess what I did when I got home? I played with the pedal. Then set it on fire and threw it down the stairs. Did it feel good? Hell yeah! Does the pedal still work? Surprisingly yes!

Now, if I had tried that with my old pedal (Zoom Multi) I'm certain it would never even attempt to work ever again... let's face it, the fucking thing doesn't work anymore anyway. I've done everything to this Line 6. Took a hammer to it's steel casing, poured propane onto it and 'accidentally' let a match fall onto it, put it into my Boom Box for added Boom, poured a deadly concoction of Sulphuric Acid, Nitric Acid and Liquid Oxygen onto it. What happened?

It got scratched.

Then what happened? I threw it out of my bedroom window.

It got a little more scratched.

Then guess what I did? Go on. Guess!

I ejaculated onto it as a sign of friendship and gratitude for being so fucking hardcore.

The Moral of the Story: Line 6 actually make durable pedals! They last longer than five minutes... which is the average lifespan of a Line 6 amplifier or guitar.