Headline: Murder Young Girl Killed! (18/06/09)

I'm sorry, but the tabloids are really starting to get on my fucking tits. And no, before anybody asks, the DT reference in the title has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this article.

Everybody knows that this Madeline McAnne (Or however it's spelt) girl got kidnapped because of her parents idiocy. "We were regularly checking up on her!" they say. Oh really? Well, not regularly enough, apparently. Idiots. Now really, I empathise with them, I really do. It's sad to see such a gorgeous young girl be taken from her parents, it's a pain I hope I never have to experience and a pain I wish no parent should have to experience but really... just find the little bitch! I'm sick of reading about her!

Every. Fucking. Day.

"Search for Maddie continues!"

Here's an idea... just inform us when she's fucking found! Holy shit! I don't give a fuck anymore! I sat down at college to use the internet one day when I noticed the desktop image had been changed... what to? A picture of Maddie with a big banner saying "Support the search!"... how the fuck can I support the search? What can I actively do to help look for her? They have a perverted Brit helping them (who probably wants a piece of her, the Portugese police force, forces from surrounding countries AND the British Secret Service on their side! I'm a bit out of my depth, no?

Now I've only just realised that the title may actually refer to Maddie but I can assure you that is not intended. It was originally "Headline: Murder Young Girl Got Laid!" but I changed it because "Beyond This Life" came on and I just couldn't help myself (That and this article never intended to go onto the topic of Maddie, but shit, a guys gotta rant! Also the only reason she was mentioned (besides the ranting) was to show how the tabloids leech everything like Blackmore and a good riff (NOTICE: No bad feelings against Blackmore, he's uber)).

Digression.

The thing what's really pissed me off? Y'know that TV show? "The Apprentice"? Well, the British version has a guy named Alan Sugar as the employer, right? He basically gets a fuckload of people and they prove to him that they deserve a place in his buisness (Known to us Vintage Gamers and Computer Geeks alike as "Amstrad"), and they get booted off one by one and so on and so forth. Anyway! One little whore who was on the apprentice happened to be a nymphomaniac and likes to sleep with married men.

Makes for good television, right? Wrong.

I love Alan Sugar, but holy fucking shit, please! She fucked some guy in a field and got in the papers; with pictures of her fucking him! Holy Lord Odin! The amount of times I've been photographed fucking some slut in a field and I didn't get into the fucking news! It wouldn't be as bad if it was a small article on page 4 or something, but no! This is front page news! (This is where the original title was to come into play, you see?)

To make matters even worse today I open up my favourite Sunday newspaper (for the curious, it's The People. Why? It usually has a nice random fact page! I love to be reminded that I am the epitome of useless knowledge and The People is to thank for it!) and what do I see? "HUSBAND STEALER IS AT IT AGAIN: WITH A MAN SHE ALREADY SLEPT WITH!

OH HOLY FUCK! NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

What the fuck is next? "Groom to be got drunk night before wedding!" or perhaps: "Married couple have sex on same night as marriage!".

What makes life worse for the tabloid press and the British citizens? (Here we go again) Reality fuckin' TV.

Seriously! Who the fuck thinks this shit up! I now demand that my idea for a RTV show is put up. Y'know, the one with the impossible tasks and death as the only escape? No? Look through the fucking archives, I'm too lazy to find out what it's called.

The sad thing about RTV is that people still watch it... Sure, I watched it to begin with. I've no problem admitting it... but for fuck sakes, about 10 years after it's conception, Big Brother is still going strong and to make it worse? Certain Newspapers (I won't mention who because I simply just don't remember) have dedicated a fucking pullout to it! A six page booklet to Big bastard Brother! Even worse? I still see that Jade fucking Goody is still in the papers! Fuck!

I think she must be the only person I really hate next to Leonardo DiCaprio. He was the first person in cinematic history (to my knowledge) to have two leading roles in a film. She was the only person to go into the Big Brother 'house' twice... but this time? Her mother came with her! Her gapped toothed, fugly as sin, Benefit Frauding, saggy, old, ignorant, twat-face, rug-munching, comestic surgery...ing mother. Then what happened? The general public (I'm glad to say I wasn't one of them) went out and bought all the newspapers that fronted: "JADE GOODY AND HER RACIST MOTHER ATTACH SHILPA SHETTY TO A WOODEN CROSS AND SET IT ON FIRE AS SHEEPISH HOUSEMATES MASTURBATE OVER THE SCENE!".

Holy fuck! Racism! On a REALITY TELEVISION show of all things! What has the world come to?!

Summary: Maddie, Amstrad Whores, Reality TV, Racism etc.

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