Computer sex? It's possible.
So, I was browsing LUElinks and clicked a topic entitled "Would it be possible to have sex over the internet in the future?", I clicked it and read... and weeped for humanity. Then masturbated, then drew a little, then masturbated, then cried myself to sleep. I woke up and read on. Apparantly there is already a device out there which (essentially) lets you have sex with somebody via the internet. I don't want to go into the details, but it involves a fleshlight type object, which you... well, if you click that link you should figure it out.
Apparantly, the female version is essentially the same thing... but for a woman! You plug it into your USB port and as does the female on the other end. You connect using some perverted software, which is most probably made to look 'classy', and before you know it, you're thrusting away into the epitomy of pervertedness. Isn't technology wonderful?
I admit, I'd like to get my hands on one of these things just to read the manual. I think that alone would be worth a laugh. But really, it's scary to think of what people are doing with technology now. Here's the question on my lips, right now. What happens if your computer crashes? Is it worth thinking about? It'll rip your dick off and have it waving above your head faster than you can finish ejaculating! How can you explain that to your parents? "What? Oh! That? Oh, it's nothing, I was having sex with a 40 year old girl on the internet. Nah, Windows crashed, don't worry about it, it'll heal up after a couple of days.".
Even more worrying would be what would happen to the female. I mean, would she like... get electrocuted? Perhaps the dildo thing would go insane inside of her and tear open her vagina? I dunno, but it'd be pretty fucking funny to see. I mean, come on, think about it, just imagine her bouncing all over the place, writhing in pain... oh god, it'd be so fucking funny! I think the guy would be even funnier, though. One second he's slamming away and then BAM! FOUNTAIN OF BLOOD!
Another point, what would happen if you happened to download a virus? God damn, that would suck. "Your penis has been infected by W32.Sasser.p, Windows suggests running Norton Anti Virus at your next possible convenience". Then when you finally get Norton running it'll tell you to 'reboot your penis'. Oh, the amount of fun that could lead to. It's so enjoyable. The mere thought of it excites me. Just think of Windows telling you that your penis is infected with a worm or spyware. Your penis is reporting your activities! REFORMAT! REFORMAT!!
One of these days, I will make this a reality. I fucking hate people who program computer viruses and other such malware, but to infect somebodies penis... hell, even a popup saying "Your penis has been infected with Spyware, I believe a reformat is in order?", it'd be great. Infact, that is my lifes order. I will infect some perverts penis with Spyware. I don't even have to program it, I'll just make it so he thinks he's got it.
Also, it's interesting to note that I've actually just found something which could be of interest. Internet sex, does infact exist. Not in cybering, I mean actual sex... don't believe me? Check this out. You have no choice. Live in blissful ignorance if you wish, but this is the cold hard truth. Accept it for what it is. People are having sex via the internet. I don't want to believe it anymore than any of you, but it must be recognised.
We're doomed. We're all fucking doomed...
Apparantly, the female version is essentially the same thing... but for a woman! You plug it into your USB port and as does the female on the other end. You connect using some perverted software, which is most probably made to look 'classy', and before you know it, you're thrusting away into the epitomy of pervertedness. Isn't technology wonderful?
I admit, I'd like to get my hands on one of these things just to read the manual. I think that alone would be worth a laugh. But really, it's scary to think of what people are doing with technology now. Here's the question on my lips, right now. What happens if your computer crashes? Is it worth thinking about? It'll rip your dick off and have it waving above your head faster than you can finish ejaculating! How can you explain that to your parents? "What? Oh! That? Oh, it's nothing, I was having sex with a 40 year old girl on the internet. Nah, Windows crashed, don't worry about it, it'll heal up after a couple of days.".
Even more worrying would be what would happen to the female. I mean, would she like... get electrocuted? Perhaps the dildo thing would go insane inside of her and tear open her vagina? I dunno, but it'd be pretty fucking funny to see. I mean, come on, think about it, just imagine her bouncing all over the place, writhing in pain... oh god, it'd be so fucking funny! I think the guy would be even funnier, though. One second he's slamming away and then BAM! FOUNTAIN OF BLOOD!
Another point, what would happen if you happened to download a virus? God damn, that would suck. "Your penis has been infected by W32.Sasser.p, Windows suggests running Norton Anti Virus at your next possible convenience". Then when you finally get Norton running it'll tell you to 'reboot your penis'. Oh, the amount of fun that could lead to. It's so enjoyable. The mere thought of it excites me. Just think of Windows telling you that your penis is infected with a worm or spyware. Your penis is reporting your activities! REFORMAT! REFORMAT!!
One of these days, I will make this a reality. I fucking hate people who program computer viruses and other such malware, but to infect somebodies penis... hell, even a popup saying "Your penis has been infected with Spyware, I believe a reformat is in order?", it'd be great. Infact, that is my lifes order. I will infect some perverts penis with Spyware. I don't even have to program it, I'll just make it so he thinks he's got it.
Also, it's interesting to note that I've actually just found something which could be of interest. Internet sex, does infact exist. Not in cybering, I mean actual sex... don't believe me? Check this out. You have no choice. Live in blissful ignorance if you wish, but this is the cold hard truth. Accept it for what it is. People are having sex via the internet. I don't want to believe it anymore than any of you, but it must be recognised.
We're doomed. We're all fucking doomed...
posted by Thump at 4:34 pm
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