Habbo Hotel: The biggest gathering of 'tards on the net.

So, the internet terrorist organization known as 'LUE' invaded Habbo Hotel yesterday. All we wanted to do was rap... but no, we got kicked out because they're bastards. Anyways, after about 30 minutes of typing lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody. We decided we'd start singing the HBK theme tune. We got half of it out and got kicked. Eventually the stupid wigger fucks trying to act black put a password protection on the room so we were all like :(.

We met up at the LUElinks HQ to discuss our movements. Tactically. We went over to 'Rooftop Rumble' and decided it to be a good idea that we should randomly block the door. Anyway, we got banned (I wanted to go swimming!). I made a new account (Damn good IP bans you have there, fucktards) and went back to Rooftop Rumble. Somebody mentioned about a job and I was all like "OMG YA RLY JOB 3 MUNEEZ?!", he said "Yeah, you get payed.". I could barely contain my excitement.

I went to the place they wanted me to be (Crimez M.A.F>I.A) and found it to be the funniest thing I ever witnessed. I tried to take it seriously but 'mr.crimez' put me off a little too much. What with all the "Yes, boss" bullshit. He's a boss of people on a 'chat room' of 12 year olds. What an honour. What a fucking honour. Now, I found a neat little teleportation device. They didn't take into account the fact that I gave myself rights and blocked everywhere from them. Let's just say "Boss wants you to go" means "I'll leave, come back in five minutes time and move everything and fuck it all up.". Guess what? That's exactly what I did.

Dunno how they found the place when they got back. I imagine it'd be pretty funny. So anyway, I left for a while and saw another topic... about a wedding chapel... on Habbo Hotel. Oh fucking hell, this is way too good of an oppurtunity to miss. I quickly found it and became the priest. After marrying a couple of people to a cat (Promiscuous pussy) I got bored and knocked the alter over. BAM! KA-POW! SMASH! I pwned u nigaz real gud!

However I did realise in my short stay at the Hotel, that all people who regularly use it are fucking retards. I mean cock smoking, rectally minded retards. Y'know those people who mutilate there own penis? Think of that. The people who go onto Habbo Hotel mutilate their own penis. And vagoos. At the same time. Fucking disgusting, isn't it? Oh wait, I might get attacked by the Habbo'tards. What can I do? I've an idea, take my blog down and delete their comments! Yay! Then! Here's the best bit. I BRING IT BACK UP! How awe inspiring.

Y'wanna know the best bit? I got to see how people who use Habbo get girlfriends. It was an interesting... experience to say the least. To see little kids running around and saying "HAY IM 13/M/CA ND I NEED A G/F DO U WNT 2 B IT???/". I'm not making this shit up, guys. This is the honest truth. I saw this about twenty times in an hour. You do the math. Holy shit, if it was that simple, I'd be great!

HAY GRLZ IM 16/M/UK ND I NEED A G/F DO U WNT 2 B TI???/

All applicants will be entitled to rights such as: Cleaning dishes, cleaning clothes, cooking, shutting the fuck up, sleeping, having sex with me and only me, giving oral sex, doing kinky things with hair curlers, washing the house, birthing, fake orgasms and the most important anal sex.

You can contact me at youare@fuckingretard.com

GOGOGO!