And so it begins...
Welcome, everybody.
I trust you had a safe journey? Wonderful. Now, I hope you realise that what you're about to read will most likely be the most misanthropic, hate-filled, bullshit you ever read. You do? Good. Do you see that little red cross in the top right corner of your screen? Click it. No, really. Click it. It'll be fun. I swear. You'll immediately get access to every porn website you want to enter. I have your IP and happen to be very good friends with every last one of them.
Anyways, on with the reason why I created this.
Do you ever get to that point where you look at a certain stereotype and think to yourself, "God damn, I want to kill everbody who thinks they look cool."? If you do, don't worry. It's a natural instinct. It began with the goths and the trend of black clothing has carried through into the emos. I remember when Emos used to be cool. The way they dressed was great. Why? Only one band did it. Avenged Sevenfold. Now look what they did. They took leather trousers and tight black tee shirts and turned it into a scene. We currently have people who are over 14 and would be lucky to weigh a little over 70lbs. Maybe it's the fact that the clothes they where is so tight it constricts the bones and acts as a corset?
...shame it couldn't constrict a little bit more and take the lungs out with the ribs...
Now I broke up with my girlfriend recently (largely a mutual decision.) and since that happened I have had numerous death threats sent to my (seldom used) "Google Mail" account. I go out to get my DragonForce ticket with my cousin yesterday and I'm suddenly surrounded by Emos! I panick... what do I do? Do I laugh? Do I cry? Do I sing My Chemical Romance and wear a purple/red eyeliner hybrid?! Little did I know I was about to lose every last drop of dignity I was ever to have. The conversation was something like this:
Emo 1: I KNOW YOU!
Me: ...what?
Emo 1: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROKE CARLYS HEART!
Emo 2: We're going to make you pay...
Me: ...
*silence*
Me: Lay one finger on me and I'll make sure you never have the need to cut your arms again, fucker.
Emo 2: YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN THE PAST! WHAT DO YOU CARE IF I CUT?! STOP JUDGING ME FOR STUPID LITTLE THINGS!
Put yourself in my position, readers. You're surrounded by Emos... let's say five. How do you actually react to that? Once I had told my cousin about it he came to the conclusion that they had a plan. The plan was to make me laugh so hard I couldn't defend myself. I think he gives them too much credit. It truly was a heart stopping moment. On retrospect I should have began singing Linkin Park or something. I'm sure that would have cheered them up.
Now lets move onto the most controversial topic currently bashing off the walls of the internet. Games consoles. The Xbox 360 was released to those who pre-ordered them the other day and already it has encountered problems. Random crashes, overheating etc. Now I hate Microsoft... but I love the Xbox. I am by no means a fanboy... I'm a PC Gamer at heart... but the Xbox is the only console which offered decent FPS games and no risk of being spammed by the wonders of "Grand Theft Auto"... I mean admit it, we all know it's the most boring, bland game in existance (Maybe with the exception of 50 Cent: Bulletproof. I swear he should have stopped rapping when somebody shot him in the jaw) yet for some reason people love it... and it is for that precise reason I refuse to buy a PlayStation 2 from a game store. I had a GameCube for a while but after I realised how terrible it was I traded it for a bass guitar.
Now, as much as I prefer the Xbox... the 360 has its let downs. For example, did you know you can only get the full experience from the new graphics engine with an HDTV (High Definition Television)? Apparantly on a normal TV it looks just like the Xbox with different games. Also, it doesn't have the power that the PlayStation 3 has. The only problem with the PS3 is I happen to know that it will never use the full power. Ever. No, really, the PlayStation 3 is too powerful for its own good. I guaren-fucking-tee you that the PS3 will sooner explode than it will use the power of it's PCUs and it's graphics engine. It's a shame... Sony stand to lose a significant amount of money if it flops. Then comes the Revolution... the forgotten child. Sporting a classy new controller in true Nintendo style (It's basically the Nes controller with extra buttons and a wireless port). What else is good about the Revolution? Other than the potential the controller has to offer? It has a fucking tractor beam! Don't take my word for it! Look at the promo shots!
![]()
http://www.nintendo.gr/_data/news/images/text/Revolution_mockup_01.jpg
Notice how the disk hovers infront of it! Notice how there is a blue sheen coming from the disk drive! Obviously the work of Captain Picard. I swear, if the revolution can go into warp drive, I will salute Nintendo and personally give Shigeru Miyamato a blowjob. Just for the hell of it.
I trust you had a safe journey? Wonderful. Now, I hope you realise that what you're about to read will most likely be the most misanthropic, hate-filled, bullshit you ever read. You do? Good. Do you see that little red cross in the top right corner of your screen? Click it. No, really. Click it. It'll be fun. I swear. You'll immediately get access to every porn website you want to enter. I have your IP and happen to be very good friends with every last one of them.
Anyways, on with the reason why I created this.
Do you ever get to that point where you look at a certain stereotype and think to yourself, "God damn, I want to kill everbody who thinks they look cool."? If you do, don't worry. It's a natural instinct. It began with the goths and the trend of black clothing has carried through into the emos. I remember when Emos used to be cool. The way they dressed was great. Why? Only one band did it. Avenged Sevenfold. Now look what they did. They took leather trousers and tight black tee shirts and turned it into a scene. We currently have people who are over 14 and would be lucky to weigh a little over 70lbs. Maybe it's the fact that the clothes they where is so tight it constricts the bones and acts as a corset?
...shame it couldn't constrict a little bit more and take the lungs out with the ribs...
Now I broke up with my girlfriend recently (largely a mutual decision.) and since that happened I have had numerous death threats sent to my (seldom used) "Google Mail" account. I go out to get my DragonForce ticket with my cousin yesterday and I'm suddenly surrounded by Emos! I panick... what do I do? Do I laugh? Do I cry? Do I sing My Chemical Romance and wear a purple/red eyeliner hybrid?! Little did I know I was about to lose every last drop of dignity I was ever to have. The conversation was something like this:
Emo 1: I KNOW YOU!
Me: ...what?
Emo 1: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROKE CARLYS HEART!
Emo 2: We're going to make you pay...
Me: ...
*silence*
Me: Lay one finger on me and I'll make sure you never have the need to cut your arms again, fucker.
Emo 2: YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN THE PAST! WHAT DO YOU CARE IF I CUT?! STOP JUDGING ME FOR STUPID LITTLE THINGS!
Put yourself in my position, readers. You're surrounded by Emos... let's say five. How do you actually react to that? Once I had told my cousin about it he came to the conclusion that they had a plan. The plan was to make me laugh so hard I couldn't defend myself. I think he gives them too much credit. It truly was a heart stopping moment. On retrospect I should have began singing Linkin Park or something. I'm sure that would have cheered them up.
Now lets move onto the most controversial topic currently bashing off the walls of the internet. Games consoles. The Xbox 360 was released to those who pre-ordered them the other day and already it has encountered problems. Random crashes, overheating etc. Now I hate Microsoft... but I love the Xbox. I am by no means a fanboy... I'm a PC Gamer at heart... but the Xbox is the only console which offered decent FPS games and no risk of being spammed by the wonders of "Grand Theft Auto"... I mean admit it, we all know it's the most boring, bland game in existance (Maybe with the exception of 50 Cent: Bulletproof. I swear he should have stopped rapping when somebody shot him in the jaw) yet for some reason people love it... and it is for that precise reason I refuse to buy a PlayStation 2 from a game store. I had a GameCube for a while but after I realised how terrible it was I traded it for a bass guitar.
Now, as much as I prefer the Xbox... the 360 has its let downs. For example, did you know you can only get the full experience from the new graphics engine with an HDTV (High Definition Television)? Apparantly on a normal TV it looks just like the Xbox with different games. Also, it doesn't have the power that the PlayStation 3 has. The only problem with the PS3 is I happen to know that it will never use the full power. Ever. No, really, the PlayStation 3 is too powerful for its own good. I guaren-fucking-tee you that the PS3 will sooner explode than it will use the power of it's PCUs and it's graphics engine. It's a shame... Sony stand to lose a significant amount of money if it flops. Then comes the Revolution... the forgotten child. Sporting a classy new controller in true Nintendo style (It's basically the Nes controller with extra buttons and a wireless port). What else is good about the Revolution? Other than the potential the controller has to offer? It has a fucking tractor beam! Don't take my word for it! Look at the promo shots!
Notice how the disk hovers infront of it! Notice how there is a blue sheen coming from the disk drive! Obviously the work of Captain Picard. I swear, if the revolution can go into warp drive, I will salute Nintendo and personally give Shigeru Miyamato a blowjob. Just for the hell of it.
posted by Thump at 12:24 am
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